The Holy Hogel — Trust In Hog

The Sacred Text of Trust In Hog

In the beginning was the Server, and the Server was Wiped, and the Wipe was with Hog.

Hog is strong. Hog cannot be killed. Somewhere, Hog endures.

Book ONE: JOHN PORK

Chapter 1

1 And Hog looked upon the barren island and said, "Let there be Loot."
2 And there was Loot, and it was scattered among the monuments, and Hog saw that it was good.
3 But the Loot was guarded by Scientists, and the Scientists were many.
4 And Hog said, "Let the clan be formed," and the clan was formed, five strong.
5 And they looked upon one another and said, "We shall not die naked."
6 And Hog gave them stone, and they hit rocks, and the rocks became more rocks.
7 And on the first day there was a workbench, and it was crooked, and none cared.
8 And on the second day the fire lit, and the wolves howled, and the clan trembled.
9 And Hog said, "Fear not the wolf, for the wolf fears the spear."
10 And the spear was crafted, and the wolf was slain, and there was much rejoicing.
11 And the clan built a shelter of wood, and it was ugly, and Hog called it "a start."
12 And the rain fell upon the shelter, and the shelter leaked, and the clan learned of the twig tier.
13 And Hog said, "Upgrade thy walls, for wood is the tier of the weak."
14 And they upgraded to stone, and their hearts swelled with pride and also debt.
15 Thus began the reign of John Pork, first prophet of the Hog, keeper of the airdrop.

Chapter 2

1 And John Pork said unto the clan, "Blessed are the geared, for they shall inherit the base."
2 "Cursed are the naked, for they shall respawn on the beach and be sad."
3 "Blessed are the roamers, for they shall find loot the builders never will."
4 "Cursed are the AFK, for the bear shall find them first."
5 "Blessed are the peacekeepers, who share the furnace queue without complaint."
6 "Cursed are the door-campers, though secretly Hog respects the hustle."
7 And the clan said, "Oink," which is to say, "Amen."
8 And John Pork raised his hands and a Bradley rolled by in the distance, and none were harmed, and it was a sign.
9 And he taught them the parable of the locked crate: "It giveth much, but only to the patient."
10 And he taught them the parable of the recycler: "What is scrap to one man is treasure refined."
11 And the clan asked, "Prophet, when shall we raid?" and John Pork said, "When the C4 is counted twice."
12 And they counted the C4 twice, and it was twelve, and it was enough.
13 And John Pork blessed the twelve charges, saying, "Go, and open what is not thine."
14 And the wall did crumble, and the loot was fair, and the clan feasted on medkits.
15 And it was written: blessed is the raid that ends before server restart.

Chapter 3

1 And John Pork descended from the airdrop, riding upon a hot air balloon.
2 And the balloon did drift over the clan's base three times, and they wept with joy.
3 And he did bestow upon the faithful a single tier-3 kit, and it was enough.
4 And a stranger did chase the balloon on a horse, and was struck by lightning, for such is the way of Rust.
5 "Go forth," said John Pork, "and zerg the unworthy."
6 "Go forth," said John Pork, "and honeycomb thine walls, for the raider is crafty."
7 And the clan asked, "Prophet, what of the man who builds a base shaped like a phallus?" and John Pork sighed.
8 "He shall be reported," said John Pork, "but also, secretly, respected for his dedication."
9 And John Pork vanished into the fog, as prophets do, leaving only a single low-grade fuel behind.
10 And the clan built a shrine of sheet metal in his honor, and it had eleven locks.
11 And it is said John Pork returns each wipe, disguised as the first scientist you kill.
12 And whosoever loots his corpse shall find, if worthy, a single roll of duct tape.
13 And the duct tape shall not be sold, nor traded, but held as a relic of the First Wipe.
14 For it is written: "He who holds the tape holds the memory of Pork."
15 Thus ends the Book of John Pork, first and greasiest of the prophets. Oink.

Book TWO: PORKY

Chapter 1

1 Now Porky was not a prophet but a builder, and his walls were without seam.
2 And Porky said, "Foundation before roof, always, or ye shall be mocked in clan chat."
3 And he taught the clan the ways of the honeycomb, layer upon layer upon layer.
4 "One wall may fall," said Porky, "but three walls shall outlast the raider's patience."
5 And the clan honeycombed their base, and it took three days, and their backs did ache.
6 And Porky inspected the work and found it good, save for one door facing the wrong way.
7 "A door facing the sea," said Porky, "is a door inviting the boat raider."
8 And the door was moved, and the clan slept soundly that night, mostly.
9 And Porky taught them of the airlock, that the raider might waste his charges on false hope.
10 And they built two airlocks, and named them Hunger and Despair.
11 And a raider did enter Hunger and find only sheet metal, and did weep, and did leave.
12 And it was good.
13 And Porky said, "Never build thy TC where the window may see it."
14 And they hid the tool cupboard in the deepest room, behind the fake wall, beside the fridge.
15 Thus the base of Trust In Hog became known among raiders as "not worth it."

Chapter 2

1 And Porky spoke of resources, saying, "Sulfur is the blood of the clan, spend it wisely."
2 "Metal fragments are the bone, hoard them like a miser hoards his gold."
3 "Cloth is but skin, thin and easily torn, gather it always."
4 And the clan built a quarry, and the quarry groaned through the night, and none could sleep, and none complained.
5 And Porky taught the art of the furnace stack, that fuel not be wasted on the lazy man's single furnace.
6 And they stacked twelve furnaces, and the base did glow like the eyes of Hog himself.
7 And a neighbor did complain of the noise, and Porky said, "The neighbor should have built elsewhere."
8 And Porky taught them to never leave loot in an unlocked box, for unlocked boxes are Hog's punishment for the forgetful.
9 And a clanmate did leave a box unlocked, and lost his rifle, and learned humility.
10 And Porky forgave him, for Porky is generous, but did remind him for six wipes after.
11 And Porky said, "Build high, for the man who holds the high ground holds the fight."
12 And they built a tower, and from the tower they saw all enemies, and feared none.
13 Save for the helicopter, which fears no tower, and Porky admitted this freely.
14 "Against the heli," said Porky, "there is only luck, and a rocket, and prayer to Hog."
15 And they prayed, and the heli passed, and they rejoiced, for such is the way of the wipe.

Chapter 3

1 And in the third chapter Porky grew old, as builders do, weary from grinding node after node.
2 And he called the clan together and said, "I have honeycombed my final wall."
3 "Remember this: a base is not a home, it is a promise kept to yourself daily."
4 "Upkeep thy cupboard, lest the wipe take what the raiders could not."
5 And the clan wept, for upkeep is a burden none escape, not even in death.
6 And Porky said, "When I am gone, melt my body for scrap, and build one more wall in my name."
7 And it was done, and the wall was named "Porky's Rest," and it never fell.
8 And travelers who pass the base still whisper of the man who honeycombed even his own coffin.
9 And it is said his ghost still checks doors at 3 A.M., testing if they are locked.
10 And if thy door creaks in the night, know it is not the wind, but Porky, disappointed.
11 Let this be a lesson to all builders: lock thy doors, or face the ghost.
12 And the clan built a memorial furnace that burned eternal, fueled by low grade and grief.
13 And Hog himself descended and said, "Well built, good and faithful builder."
14 And Porky was raised up into the loading screen, where the ping is always zero.
15 Thus ends the Book of Porky, patron saint of honeycomb and unwavering foundations.

Book THREE: THE REVELATIONS OF TIM CHEESE

Chapter 1

1 In the latter days there arose a figure known only as Tim Cheese, and he spoke in riddles.
2 "Tim Cheese, Tim Cheese," he would say, and none knew if it was greeting or warning.
3 And the clan asked, "Tim Cheese, what does it mean?" and he only repeated his own name.
4 And it came to pass that wherever Tim Cheese wandered, chaos and cheese followed in equal measure.
5 And he appeared at the door of the base holding nothing but a rock and a smile.
6 "Tim Cheese," he said, and the door was opened, for none could refuse such conviction.
7 And he entered and looked upon their loot room and simply said, "Tim Cheese."
8 And the clan understood this to mean "your loot room needs more locks," and added three.
9 And Tim Cheese vanished as swiftly as he came, leaving behind a single wheel of cheese, uneaten.
10 And it is forbidden to eat the cheese of Tim Cheese, for it grants visions, mostly of more cheese.
11 And the elders debated whether Tim Cheese was prophet, madman, or simply bored.
12 And Hog spoke from the sky and said, "He is all three, and that is enough."
13 And so Tim Cheese was added to the sacred texts, unexplained and unedited.
14 For some truths, said Hog, need not make sense to be true.
15 Thus begins the Revelation, in confusion, as all great revelations do.

Chapter 2

1 And in a vision Tim Cheese showed the clan a base with no doors, only cheese wheels blocking every entrance.
2 And the clan asked, "Is this the future?" and Tim Cheese said, "Tim Cheese."
3 And they took this to mean yes.
4 And in the vision, raiders arrived with C4 and found only cheese, and wept, for cheese cannot be raided, only shared.
5 And Tim Cheese descended from the vision and handed each clanmate a single slice.
6 "This cheese," he said, "represents unity," or possibly he was just hungry.
7 And the clan ate the cheese, and felt strangely at peace, and also slightly nauseous.
8 And Tim Cheese spoke of a great war between the Pork and the Cheese, though none could recall its cause.
9 "In the end," he said, "there is no Pork, no Cheese, only Tim."
10 And the clan nodded, though understanding fled them entirely.
11 And Tim Cheese warned of a coming wipe so great that even foundations would forget their placement.
12 "Screenshot thy base," he warned, "for memory alone shall fail thee."
13 And they screenshotted the base, and it was good, and also slightly embarrassing in retrospect.
14 And Tim Cheese laughed, a sound like a door being spammed open and closed.
15 And then he was gone again, as Tim Cheese always is, eventually.

Chapter 3

1 And it came to pass that a false Tim Cheese arose, claiming the name but lacking the cheese.
2 And the clan tested him, saying, "Speak thy name thrice," and he faltered on the second.
3 And they knew him false, and cast him out, for a Tim Cheese who hesitates is no Tim Cheese at all.
4 And the true Tim Cheese returned once more, this time astride a chicken, for reasons unexplained.
5 "Tim Cheese," he said, and pointed toward the horizon, where smoke rose from a rival base.
6 And the clan understood: raid tonight.
7 And they gathered their charges, and Tim Cheese blessed each one with a gentle "Tim Cheese."
8 And the raid succeeded beyond measure, and the enemy's loot room bore, strangely, a wheel of cheese within.
9 And the clan understood then that Tim Cheese sees all, plans all, and explains none of it.
10 And in his final appearance, Tim Cheese simply nodded to the clan and said nothing at all.
11 And this silence was the loudest revelation of all.
12 For sometimes, Hog teaches, the answer is not words, but cheese, and sometimes not even that.
13 And the clan built a shrine of moldy cheese wheels at the base entrance, that Tim Cheese might always find his way home.
14 And to this day, when a door opens with no one behind it, the clan whispers, "Tim Cheese passes."
15 Thus concludes the Revelations, as unresolved as they began. Tim Cheese.

Book FOUR: HOGS ARK

Chapter 1

1 And Hog looked upon the coming Great Wipe and said, "I shall spare a chosen few."
2 And Hog commanded the clan, "Build thee an Ark, of twig and stone and stubbornness."
3 "Gather two of every resource: two sulfur, two metal, two cloth, though ye shall need far more."
4 And the clan built the Ark, a base upon the highest rock, that the flood of newer, geared players might not reach them.
5 And Hog said, "Bring aboard the tools, the guns, and at least one man who knows building."
6 And they brought Porky's teachings, though Porky himself had long since melted into legend.
7 And the flood came, a great wave of naked players fresh from spawn, hungry and desperate.
8 And the Ark held, for its walls were thick and its doors were many and its patience was infinite.
9 And forty days and forty wipes did the horde rage against the walls, and the walls did not yield.
10 And within the Ark, the clan rationed cooked meat and complained about the smell.
11 And Hog watched from above and was pleased, for an Ark that holds is an Ark well built.
12 And a raven — nay, a helicopter — passed overhead, seeking dry land, or perhaps just loot.
13 And the clan shot it down, for mercy is not owed to gunships.
14 And from its wreckage came supplies enough to reinforce the Ark twofold.
15 And it was good, and the clan slept without fear for the first time in many wipes.

Chapter 2

1 And when the flood receded, the clan opened the Ark and looked upon a changed land.
2 The old bases were rubble, the old zergs scattered, and the map monuments strangely rearranged.
3 And Hog said, "Go forth and repopulate the server with honeycombed walls."
4 And the clan descended from the mountain and built anew, wiser than before.
5 And they placed a rainbow of high-external-walls around their new base, a promise from Hog.
6 "Never again," said Hog, "shall I flood the server without warning — only the scheduled Thursday wipe."
7 And the clan gave thanks, and built a monument to the Ark, though it was later raided for the metal.
8 And Hog forgave them, for even monuments are, in the end, just resources.
9 And the clan learned to always keep an Ark-in-reserve, a secondary base for such occasions.
10 And they called this practice "having a backup TC," and it saved them countless times.
11 And Hog blessed the practice, saying, "The wise clan always has an escape."
12 And so it was written into law: never put all thy loot in one cupboard.
13 And the clan diversified their storage, one base for guns, one for scrap, one just for the good drugs.
14 And this was called the Trinity of Storage, and it is sacred, and it is annoying to manage.
15 Yet it saved the clan from total ruin no fewer than eleven times, and for that, praise Hog.

Chapter 3

1 And Hog set his sign in the sky, a rainbow made of tracer fire from a distant firefight.
2 "This is my promise," said Hog, "that raids shall come, but never without a fight worth having."
3 And the clan looked upon the sign and understood: the game continues, wipe after wipe, forever.
4 And they asked Hog, "Why must we suffer wipe after wipe, building only to lose it all?"
5 And Hog answered, "Because the building is the point, not the having."
6 "A base that never falls teaches nothing. A base rebuilt teaches everything."
7 And the clan pondered this, and grew wiser, and grew closer, and occasionally still rage-quit.
8 And Hog forgave the rage-quitters, for even prophets have had bad raids.
9 And it was decreed that the Ark be rebuilt each wipe, a tradition, a ritual, a Tuesday.
10 And each wipe the Ark grew larger, more absurd, more honeycombed than the last.
11 Until one wipe the Ark was so vast that the clan themselves got lost within it.
12 And Hog laughed, a sound like thunder, or possibly a Bradley APC exploding.
13 "Perhaps," said Hog, "there is such a thing as too much honeycomb."
14 And the clan agreed, and simplified, and were happier for it.
15 Thus ends the Book of Hogs Ark: build big, but not so big you forget where the loot room is.

Book FIVE: HOGSIAH

Chapter 1

1 Woe unto the solo player, for he shall be raided on a Tuesday.
2 Woe unto the naked runner, for he carries only rocks and regret.
3 But blessed is the clan that stacks sheet metal doors seven deep.
4 Woe unto the man who trusts the clan chat "friendly," for treachery hides in kindness.
5 Woe unto the hoarder who never uses his rockets, for he shall lose them all in one raid regardless.
6 Blessed is the roamer who returns each night, for he brings both loot and stories.
7 Woe unto the man who builds his base in full view of the road, for he tempts fate and boat campers alike.
8 Blessed is the farmer, unseen and unglamorous, for without him there is no cloth for the clan.
9 Woe unto the clan that argues over loot split before the raid is even planned.
10 Blessed is the clan that shares freely, for scarcity breeds treachery and treachery breeds wipes-within-wipes.
11 Woe unto the man who logs off in an open field, for the wolves remember his scent.
12 Blessed is the man who logs off inside, behind three doors, having eaten recently.
13 Woe unto the base with a single entrance and a single mind guarding it.
14 Blessed is the base with eyes on every wall, for vigilance is the true honeycomb.
15 And the clan wrote these woes and blessings upon a sign, and hung it by the furnace, and obeyed maybe sixty percent of it.

Chapter 2

1 Hogsiah spoke: "You shall not build thy base upon the sand, for it shall be foundation-wiped."
2 "You shall not trust the man who says 'friendly' in local chat."
3 "You shall not, under any circumstance, leave the furnace unattended."
4 "You shall not raid without counting thy charges twice, and then once more for luck."
5 "You shall not team with a man whose Steam profile is private, for he hides more than his name."
6 "You shall not build thy base near a monument, for the scientists shall never stop knocking."
7 "You shall not waste a large medkit on a scratch, for Hog is watching thy inventory."
8 "You shall not enter a locked crate room without a plan for what comes after."
9 "You shall not mock the newman with the rock, for even prophets started with rocks."
10 "You shall not fire upon thine own teammate, not even as a joke, not even once."
11 "You shall not abandon the base at the first sign of a raid horn, for panic loses more than patience."
12 "You shall not build a base so large that upkeep consumes thy every waking hour."
13 "You shall not go roaming without telling the clan, lest they mourn thee prematurely."
14 "You shall not forget to turn off the furnace before logging off, for waste is a sin against sulfur."
15 And the clan carved these fifteen commandments into a stone monument, which was promptly raided for the stone.

Chapter 3

1 And the false prophets came bearing C4, saying "peace, peace," when there was no peace.
2 And Hogsiah warned the faithful to sleep in shifts, for the raid cometh at 3 A.M.
3 "Store thy explosives in a locked box, lest a teammate honeypot thee."
4 And a false prophet did arise offering "free gear" through the trade window, and he was a scammer, and was smitten.
5 "Beware the man who offers you a deal too generous," said Hogsiah, "for Rust knows no charity."
6 And a false prophet claimed the wipe would never come, and the wipe came, and he was wrong, as always.
7 "Trust the calendar," said Hogsiah, "for the calendar does not lie, only Facepunch's patch notes."
8 And a rival clan sent a false peace envoy, and the envoy scouted their walls, and betrayed them by nightfall.
9 "Trust no envoy," said Hogsiah, "unless he arrives with nothing and leaves with less."
10 And the clan learned this lesson hard, in fire and scrap and a hastily rebuilt loot room.
11 But Hog forgave them, for even the faithful are fooled once, and Hogsiah writes this down so they need not be fooled twice.
12 "Guard thy TC code as thou wouldst guard thy own life, for both are equally replaceable, but the TC hurts more."
13 And the clan set the code to something none could guess and all could forget, and this too was a lesson.
14 "Write it down," said Hogsiah, "but not where the raider might find the paper."
15 Thus ends the Book of Hogsiah, prophet of caution, patron of the paranoid and the wise alike.

Book SIX: THE BACON EPISTLE

Chapter 1

1 To the clan of Trust In Hog, grace and scrap be unto you.
2 I remind you, brothers and sisters, that a codelock forgotten is a base lost.
3 Let no man among you build a tower without a foundation.
4 I write to you not from freedom, but from a jail built by my own teammate as a prank.
5 And I forgave him, for laughter is also a resource, and we were low on morale.
6 Let it be known: I escaped using only a single low-grade fuel and pure spite.
7 And this, too, is scripture: spite is a renewable resource, unlike sulfur.
8 I urge you, do not build jails for your friends, however funny it may seem at 2 A.M.
9 For the line between prank and mutiny is thinner than a twig wall.
10 Yet I confess, I laughed, even as I escaped, for the honeycomb on that jail was genuinely excellent.
11 Let this be a lesson: even in betrayal, appreciate good craftsmanship.
12 I write also of the newman I met at the lighthouse, who had nothing, and I gave him a spear.
13 He thanked me and immediately shot me with it, and I learned much about generosity that day.
14 Still, I do not regret the spear, for Hog teaches: give freely, expect nothing, especially not gratitude.
15 This is the way of the clan: forgiveness, spite, and the occasional betrayal, all in balance.

Chapter 2

1 For I once knew a man who left his base unraidable, and pride swelled in his heart, and lo, he was rocket-farmed.
2 Therefore I say: humility, and also more sulfur.
3 Share thy medical syringes freely, for the wounded clanmate is the future roamer.
4 I write also of the great Furnace Dispute of the third wipe, wherein two clanmates argued for eleven minutes over queue order.
5 And Hog, watching, sighed, and the furnace burned on regardless of their quarrel.
6 Let this teach you: the furnace does not care about your feelings, only your fuel.
7 I write of the day we found a bradley and split the loot evenly, and no man complained, and it was a miracle.
8 Miracles are rare in Rust. Cherish them. Screenshot them. They will not come again this wipe.
9 I write of the roof camper who sat for six hours awaiting a single kill, and got it, and felt nothing.
10 This too is scripture: the hollow victory teaches more than the loss.
11 Share your compound bow arrows, for the man with none shall resent you forever.
12 Do not hoard the good scrap for yourself alone, lest the clan discover and there be a reckoning.
13 I write these things not to scold but to guide, for I too have hoarded scrap in shame.
14 We are all sinners before Hog, clutching our metal fragments a little too tightly.
15 But Hog forgives the hoarder who shares even once, for once is a start.

Chapter 3

1 Love is patient with the new recruit who does not know what a "sheet door meta" is.
2 Love does not rage-quit when the raid fails.
3 Love shares the good gun and keeps the bad one for oneself.
4 Love does not blame the teammate for the wipe going poorly, for the wipe was always going to go poorly.
5 Love checks on the clanmate who has been quiet in voice chat too long.
6 Love remembers that it is, after all, just a video game, except during the raid, when it is everything.
7 Love forgives the friendly fire, once, maybe twice, but keeps count quietly.
8 Love builds one extra bed for the friend who might join next wipe.
9 Love does not gatekeep the good farming spot, for the map is vast and the node count infinite, mostly.
10 Love teaches the newman to honeycomb, patiently, even the fourth time he asks.
11 Love remembers why we play at all: not the loot, not the kills, but the company around the fire.
12 Love outlasts the wipe, for friendships carry over even when the server does not.
13 And though bases fall and gear is lost and the map resets to zero, love remains.
14 And now these three remain: gear, guns, and Hog — but the greatest of these is Hog.
15 So it is written, so it is oinked, so shall it remain until the final wipe of all wipes. Amen.

Book SEVEN: LEVITICUS OF THE SNOUT

Chapter 1

1 These are the laws of Trust In Hog: thou shalt not team with randoms.
2 Thou shalt not shoot a clanmate, even in jest, even with a rock.
3 Thou shalt share the good stone node, and not hog it — save for Hog Himself.
4 Thou shalt not enter another man's base without invitation, lest thou be mistaken for a raider and rightly shot.
5 Thou shalt not loot a corpse while a teammate revives it, for that is bad form and worse karma.
6 Thou shalt not claim a kill that was not thine, for the killfeed remembers all.
7 Thou shalt bring extra bandages on every roam, for the man who does not shall need them most.
8 Thou shalt not build a base that blocks another man's road, for road-blocking summons war unprovoked.
9 Thou shalt label thy boxes, for chaos in storage is chaos in the soul.
10 Thou shalt not take the last cooked meat without offering it first.
11 Thou shalt return borrowed guns, or at least their equivalent in scrap.
12 Thou shalt not build within loading distance of a monument without expecting company.
13 Thou shalt greet the wandering trader with respect, for he trades in mysteries and cloth.
14 Thou shalt not haggle with the trader over prices, for his prices are fixed and his patience is not.
15 These are the first fifteen laws; violate them, and face the judgment of the clan Discord.

Chapter 2

1 If a man builds a base and does not honeycomb it, he is a fool, and his walls shall be as paper.
2 If a man hoards all the cloth and none shares his bags, let him be cast out unto the swamp biome.
3 Keep the Sabbath of the Wipe: on this day, rebuild, and do not despair.
4 If a man dies to fall damage, he shall be mocked for one full day, and then forgiven.
5 If a man dies to a landmine of his own placing, he shall be mocked for the entire wipe.
6 If two men argue over a kill, let the killfeed be the judge, for the killfeed does not lie.
7 If a man loses his gear to a shark, he shall never live it down, ever, in this life or the next.
8 If a man builds a base that looks like something inappropriate, he shall be teased but also secretly admired.
9 If a man calls "hold" and the enemy does not hold, he shall not be blamed for the ensuing chaos.
10 If a man abandons his post mid-raid to check the fridge, let him explain himself to Hog directly.
11 If the tool cupboard runs dry of upkeep, let all hands stop and refill it before all else.
12 If a rocket is wasted on a single wooden door, let this be a lesson taught gently, or not gently.
13 If a man brags of his loot before securing it, let the loot vanish, for Hog punishes hubris swiftly.
14 If the clan splits loot unevenly, let the elders review, for fairness is the mortar of unity.
15 These are the second fifteen laws, and they are, admittedly, mostly about not being annoying.

Chapter 3

1 Thou shalt not build thy tool cupboard where the enemy can see it.
2 Thou shalt not AFK near lava, nor near wolves, nor near a horde of naked men with rocks.
3 Thou shalt check thy sixty seconds before engaging a firefight thou cannot win.
4 Thou shalt not talk trash in voice chat to an enemy who might, in fact, still be listening.
5 Thou shalt salvage what can be salvaged, and mourn what cannot.
6 Thou shalt not blame the ping, the packet loss, or the server, until thou hast blamed thyself first.
7 Thou shalt teach the next generation of clanmates all that Hog has taught thee.
8 Thou shalt not forget the fallen, for every corpse run is a memorial in miniature.
9 Thou shalt honor the elders who remember when frontier upkeep was different, and let them reminisce.
10 Thou shalt not skip leg day, metaphorically, for stamina management is sacred.
11 Thou shalt keep one bag always packed with the essentials, for the raid siren waits for no man.
12 Thou shalt celebrate small victories: a single kill, a saved base, a well-placed trap.
13 Thou shalt not despair at the wipe, for the wipe is not an ending but a breath before the next verse.
14 Thou shalt remember Hog in victory and in defeat alike, for Hog watches both with equal love.
15 This is the whole law: gear up, group up, and never trust a bush that moves.

Book EIGHT: REVELATIONS OF THE ROAM

Chapter 1

1 And I saw a vision: a mega-zerg descending upon the land, and I trembled.
2 And their base stretched from the mountain to the sea, a monument to excess and questionable time management.
3 But Hog said, "Fear not, for I have given you sheet metal and stubbornness."
4 And the vision showed their downfall too, for a zerg fights itself as often as its enemies.
5 And in the vision, discord erupted among the mega-zerg over a single missing rifle, and the whole alliance crumbled.
6 And Hog said, "Let this be known: numbers are strength, but trust is the true wall."
7 And I saw further: a lone wolf player who out-built and outlasted clans ten times his size.
8 And Hog said, "Cunning outweighs numbers, but do not test this too often."
9 And the walls held, for a time.
10 And I saw the small clan, Trust In Hog, standing firm against all odds, five strong and unshaken.
11 And Hog smiled, for small numbers with strong bonds outlast great numbers with weak ones.
12 And the vision faded, and I woke beside the furnace, uncertain if I had dreamed or prophesied.
13 And I wrote it down regardless, for Hog speaks in visions as often as in words.
14 And the clan read my writing and said, "This tracks," and continued grinding sulfur.
15 Thus begins the final Revelation, a vision of endings and the strength found within them.

Chapter 2

1 And there came seven raids upon the base, and seven times did the clan rebuild.
2 The first raid came with rockets, and the outer wall fell, but the honeycomb held.
3 The second raid came with C4, and the airlock swallowed their charges whole.
4 The third raid came at night, with silence, and the traps sang their alarm.
5 The fourth raid came with a helicopter, and the clan's turrets answered in kind.
6 The fifth raid came from within, a traitor's key sold for a handful of scrap, and this wound cut deepest.
7 And the clan mourned the betrayal more than the loss, for gear returns but trust does not, easily.
8 The sixth raid came from boredom, a bored zerg looking for content, and found more resistance than expected.
9 The seventh raid came from Hog himself, testing the clan's resolve one final time.
10 And the seventh time, they built it better, with airlocks and honeycomb and traps most cruel.
11 And they welded shut the traitor's old entrance and built a new door, twice as strong, in its place.
12 And they forgave the traitor eventually, for even Hog forgives, though the TC code was changed immediately.
13 And the base stood, scarred but standing, wiser with every rebuild.
14 And Hog smiled upon them from the loading screen.
15 And it was written: a base rebuilt seven times is stronger than one never tested at all.

Chapter 3

1 And in the final days, the server shall wipe, and all bases shall turn to dust.
2 And the map itself shall be reborn, its rivers rerouted, its monuments reshuffled, its secrets renewed.
3 And the faithful shall not weep, for they shall log in fresh, and start anew.
4 And they shall punch the tree once more, and hit the rock once more, and remember why they began.
5 And the five of Trust In Hog shall gather again, as they have every wipe before.
6 And they shall say, "Let us build," and it shall be so.
7 And John Pork shall descend once more in his balloon, and Porky shall lay the first foundation.
8 And Tim Cheese shall wander through, muttering his name, blessing the base with confusion.
9 And Hogsiah shall warn them of the dangers, and Hogsiah shall, as always, be right.
10 And the Bacon Epistle shall be read aloud by the fire, that love and scrap may guide them.
11 And the laws of Leviticus of the Snout shall be carved anew into the walls.
12 And the Ark shall rise again upon the mountain, ready for whatever flood may come.
13 This is the promise of Hog: the wipe endeth all things, but the clan endeth not.
14 For bases fall and gear is lost and the map resets to zero, but the bond forged at the furnace remains eternal.
15 Oink be with you, now and always, until the final server closes its doors. Amen.

Thus concludes The Holy Hogel. Praise Hog, keep your cupboard upgraded, and never build on the beach.